The line between maturity and growing up

I always thought of maturity and growing up to be two unrelated things.
Maturity is something different. Something one keeps up, not to avoid getting f'ed by society, but to avoid f'ing one's self, and hence I act mature in two scenarios: when it is necessary and when I feel like it. I understand at one point I will have to remain mature all the time and when that time comes I will embrace it, but honestly I do not believe that that time has come it, just is not here.

And then there is growing up. This is something one does to avoid getting f'ed by society. I am not speaking of growing up out of sheer voluntary desire. I'm talking about the idea that when one gets older that one must follow certain social rulings. I don't like these concepts. For example, stopping sleeping with a blanket is one of those 'growing up' things. It has nothing to do with maturation, which is the good force in the aging process. There just are these things society expects; they intend of making people into the drones of the society and conform to specific arbritary rulings that yield no visible pros or cons. There are the maveriks, the iconoclasts, the rebels, the etc. that fight these rules, or at least how I interpret them. With them is where I belong

But then... there are those two opposing forces within myself. The 'good-guy' and the 'rebel'. The good-guy comes out at certain times and types of situations such as how I drive the speed limit and as how I actually buy music and games rather than illegally downloading them. The rebel comes out at other times, and frankly it is underpowered. I do not release it enough and I do not understand why. The good-guy is always present, but it is there in order for self-defense. It maintains that any offense tried does not yield an auto-offense that hurts myself. It stays there to be the Defender. It controls the rebel, the offender who is in reality the protector. The Defender protects the protector who is the offender from getting hurt in the process of protection by hindering the ability to act. As you can see it is a messy knot but back to the purpose of this post. The more and more time passes I see my friends 'grow up'. They still are my friends, but they do not seem like the same friends. It seems like society has plugged his nasty claw into them, and I just don't know... I just don't want to get fucked by the Rules as everyone else is becoming. I want to maintain my life on the gentle outskirts of society. I'm not saying I don't want change. I like change, but I just don't want to be society's drone. Does this make me anti-social, by the Rules as I interpret them, yes. By the idea that sociality is mere communication and interaction with other humans beings, no. Do I consider myself social? I consider myself a Socialist.